so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
