she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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