the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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