I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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