I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
