just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
