So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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