You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
