You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
