i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
