This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
