question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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