Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
