nut hugger
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
