You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
