My first STD was from a foam party
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
