direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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