We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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