How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
