it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Shame is for Republicans.
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