So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
