I feel like abortions should bother me more
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
