Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
