Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
