I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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