So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
