i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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