Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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