How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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