your thong is hanging out like whoa
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
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