I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
