my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
