Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
