they need to just BURY HIM!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
