dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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