I looked at my own cervix.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
