I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
