is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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