A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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