i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
