Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
id be glad to
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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