i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
