just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
