somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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