I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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