I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
