it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My feet surprised me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
