Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
