the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
