She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm like, not good at living.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
