Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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