i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
