she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
